By Emily-Jane Hills Orford
Loneliness is something that can affect anyone, anywhere. You could be in a crowded room and still feel the overwhelming weight of loneliness. There are some jobs that make loneliness a handicap and, yes, writing is one of those jobs. It’s a very lonely occupation. In fact, writing as an occupation or a hobby is like committing the writer to solitary confinement.
How can this be the case, when writers are creating such vivid representations of the world, all in their use of the written language? Well, when you think of it, writers are spending most of their time typing or writing away on a device of their preference in the confines of their own home, probably with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their door and the phones turned off. Unless you work a day job (so to speak) and write at night and on days off, writing as a full-time occupation is solitary – just you, your ideas and your recording device (pen and paper, laptop, tablet, typewriter). So, how does a writer break through the barrier of loneliness? Well, quite simply, start socializing. Here are some suggestions. First on the list are perhaps the most obvious, writing-related suggestions.
- Attend writing workshops – not only do these workshops provide a physical means to interact with other writers and learn more about the art, but it also opens doors to potential publishers, editors, and, most important, readers (because, yes, writers are also readers).
- Join a writing group – great opportunities to share your ideas and listen to other writers’ ideas.
- Mentor another writer – helping someone else with their writing ventures is by no means degrading what you do as a writer. If anything, it strengthens your writing skills as well as giving you an outlet to share, interact, engage and basically just talk to someone else interested in the art of writing.
- Teach a creative writing class – for free or for a fee, to any age group. This is a great way to promote yourself and your writing, but also a great way to interact with others. Teaching also strengthens your own writing skills, so that’s another bonus.
- Join or establish a book club – you don’t always have to be out there promoting yourself. As a writer, you’re also a reader (at least, you should be), so why not get together with other readers, read some books, share some ideas, perhaps even share some good food and wine.
- Visit seniors’ or extended care facilities – a great opportunity to talk about your work and to visit with the residents (they’re probably lonely, too). Let them do the talking as much as possible (once again, they’re full of stories, and they might inspire you with some ideas).
And, how about some non-writing socializing:
- Take some group lessons – in music, dance, theatre (who knows, there might be a story there).
- Join a walking group – exercise is good for the brain as well as the body and it’ll be a way to communicate with others (and, yes, pick up more story ideas).
Some important things to remember as you, the writer, venture out into the world to socialize and maintain your mental stability. When having a conversation with another writer, or even anyone, don’t always be the talker, be the listener, too. Why? Well, quite simply, no one wants to listen to a blabbermouth and there’s stories worth listening to, stories that might find a place in your writing. So, do share your stories, but don’t be pompous and overly self-promoting; listen to others as they share their stories. After all, it’s writers helping writers that make us all stronger.
The main thing to remember is that, even though you might be pressed with deadlines, make it a point, every day, to get out of the house, to talk to someone, to engage in the world beyond the confines of your writing space. Even just a simple trip to the grocery store, talking with the grocery clerks and cashiers, is a positive means of socializing. You must make it part of your routine to fight the urge to be a self-committed introvert, one that can easily fall into the trap of the lonely writer syndrome.
Emily-Jane Hills Orford is a country writer, living just outside the tiny community of North Gower, Ontario, near the nation’s capital. With degrees in art history, music and Canadian studies, the retired music teacher enjoys the quiet nature of her country home and the inspiration of working at her antique Jane Austen-style spinet desk, feeling quite complete as she writes and stares out the large picture window at the birds and the forest. She writes in several genres, including creative nonfiction, memoir, fantasy, and historical fiction. http://emilyjanebooks.ca
